There comes a time in a man's life when a sex doll made out of a garbage bag, a bicycle tire, or an old Pringles can is not enough. In the old days, you could go to your local sex store and buy an inflatable fat girl or a plastic face with a fuck hole. But why settle for such outdated shit? The original real dolls debuted in the mid-90s. Gone were the days of banging horizontal pillows with beautiful women's faces painted on them. Now you can get an ultra-realistic sex doll that looks exactly like your ideal woman.

Of course, if you're going to invest $1,000 or more in a high-end toy for penis insertion, you want to get the best doll at the best price. While there are plenty of bad deals and outright rip-offs in the rich man's masturbation industry, I've handpicked the absolute best sex doll stores around the world and compiled them into this handy little list. Of course, we don't do dishes, but we are DTF 24/7 and have the cheapest prices you can find for babe that won't give you ass.

What lifelike sex dolls can I buy online?

Please see our menu. You can buy a sexy big-breasted blonde or thick-soled brunette right off the shelf, or you can customize your simulated babe from her pretty head to her mouthwatering little toes. You can choose her face, body shape, height, skin color, hair color, pubic hair, baldness, and even the types of holes she can fuck.

Or you can even go freaky. The brand covers sexual deviants from BBW sex dolls to petite teens over 18. There are male fuck dolls for queers and broads, and trannies for cock and dick lovers; Nekbeard, Weeaboo, and Redditors can bring elf-eared nymphets and big-eyed anime princess sluts to life, or at least realistic silicone or TPE can be made.

Come to think of it, one of the biggest decisions you'll face is whether to go silicone or TPE; TPE is the cheaper option, but it's super realistic and fuckable; TPE is the cheaper option, but it's super realistic and fuckable, and TPE is the cheaper option, but it's super realistic and fuckable; TPE is the cheaper option, but it's super realistic and fuckable. Silicone dolls are a little stiffer to the touch, but are often more durable and more sophisticated. Some companies offer heating systems for more realistic lays, allowing you to bathe your silicone girlfriend without melting her.

How does sex with a silicone, robot, or TPE sex doll feel compared to a real woman?

Definitely better than the real thing. Their pussies, mouths, and butt holes are modeled after the anatomy of a real human female, but are specifically designed to maximize masturbation stimulation. If you've ever fucked with a pocket pussy, you already know that plunging your penis into the love hole produces a suction effect. I've given some pretty mediocre blowjobs on Tinder, but sex dolls don't need to breathe, so there is no need to loosen the vacuum.

How do you clean a sex doll?

That's a really good question, and a really fucking important one. Especially if you have a crusty, smelly, rotten cartoon wife pillow. Sex dolls, discussed below, are a great investment and you want to keep them looking more gorgeous and fuckable. You can usually get a small cleaning kit and some instructions, but I imagine you want to know what you are going to do before you pull the trigger.

One of the most useful tools is a vaginal cleaner, also known as a turkey baster, douche, or enema. In a pinch, you can also douche. As soon as the doll is filled with semen, the doll's there, poo, and mouth can be rinsed with water. After rinsing with cold water, rinse with warm water and soap. A removable shower head with multiple water flow settings is also effective.

A sofa with bars is another useful tool for the dollfucker. Once the closet-dwelling dollfucker is removed from the vagina, gently stuff the buttocks and other orifices. Be sure to buy something soft so as not to damage the doll. How long does a sex doll last?

That depends on how often you have sex and how well you care for her. I have seen documentaries of men in long-term "committed" relationships with real sex dolls. According to the company that manufactures these, they typically last from two to ten years, depending on wear and tear. As mentioned above, thanks to the durability of the material, a silicone girl will probably last longer than a TPE babe.

If a love doll is damaged, can it be repaired?

In most cases yes, but it depends on what kind of damage was done. Depending on how these dolls are made, it may only be necessary to replace parts. For example, a real doll face can be replaced in seconds. Repair kits for other problems are available at low prices, and some companies will send them to you free of charge for minor repairs. If you really messed it up, burned it, or smashed it to pieces, you probably just had bad luck, but more elaborate repairs are possible if you are willing to send it in.

The same as for anything else you order online; DHL, UPS, and FedEx are the most common options, and your sex toy will arrive in a large, unobtrusive human-sized box. Custom-made dolls can take several weeks to ship, while ready-made dolls are shipped immediately.

You may have noticed a few Chinese companies on this list. I tried to choose a site with cost-effective shipping options, so some of these companies offer free international shipping and even cover duties and taxes.

I am hoping they will give me a discount.

Oh, I wish these realistic sex dolls were cheaper. I am always trying to reach out to ThePornDude readers to scrape up the best deals. These sex doll stores don't always want to work with me and can't cut the breaks, but whenever possible I score coupons at the links below. Be sure to start here when you purchase your new TPE Girlfriend.

If I am not satisfied with my purchase, can I get a refund?

We understand your concern as these are expensive products. At the same time, these are designed for lubrication and fucking, so you can't put the silicone sally back on the shelf after spending even just one intimate night with her. Nevertheless, there is a difference in guaranteed satisfaction, so you want to look over the fine print before you click the final "order" button. Most importantly, inspect the hell out of that fake porn star as soon as you get her and before you do anything naughty.

I can't wait to buy the sexbot that will fulfill all my fantasies.

Until I think about how much it costs to make a girlfriend or wife, a grand or two for something that makes me cum inside seems like a great investment. Not only is this sex doll super realistic and sexier than the local fat guy who is dying to fuck you, but she won't complain if you give her sperm for dinner instead of going out to a nice restaurant. Damn, the more I think about it, the more this sexbot is a fucking bargain.

Some of you may still be window shopping, but you might want to bookmark this page anyway. We'll keep updating this page as soon as we find a worthy sex doll store with beautiful silicone sluts, sexy TPE ladies, affordable prices, and easy shipping. Whether you come back tomorrow or a year from now, you will always find the best luxury sex doll options here.