Discover the top-rated porno sites of 2023, as meticulously examined by the discerning experts at PornDir.

I list only the best porn sites on the top page, but there are some that deserve a special mention but have yet to earn their red carpet spot, and I know I'll never be the great porn king.

Congratulations, you fucking betas. You are on the right track to creating an epic porn site.  Don't waste your time trying to bribe me with dick pics or welfare checks or thinking that money will make me change my mind. I may be as powerful as Trump in the adult industry, but don't make me look like a money-grubbing Melania. If you are a female webmaster, feel free to contact me and see if my cup D sized tits and wet pussy will make me weak.

Fuck, I liken this to a cuckold scene where the black master eats his master's creampie after he's finished bareback fucking his wife's anus. He's the kind of loser who knows he doesn't want to, but will happily beg and lick the leftovers because he can't get any better than this anyway. What does a true alpha's sloppy seconds taste like, bitch? You want more food, you no-goods.

Are these porn sites still worth checking out? I don't want to waste my time, I'm just trying to get some good porn.

Most of you sociopaths will fuck anything with a hole in it and have already downloaded the entire pornhub to your hard drive. You have nothing else to do and you're wondering what's on the internet. It might be nice to get out of the house for once, but can you imagine the horror of encountering a woman in the flesh? Oh, no. Better to stay in the basement protected by mommy. I don't want to lose my virginity to these beastly feminists.

Let's see what happened when poor 24-year-old Andrew celebrated his birthday at a strip club in Arkansas. His friends set up a "go-fund-me" page for this shy mofo to lose his virginity and barely made the $20 needed to hire a local black crack whore, aka porn star "Jasmine". Whether he didn't have the money to buy condoms, or if horny Andrew was stupid, the mullet boy was forced to go full bareback. We can't blame this obese boy. Because this was probably his first encounter with the opposite sex, and his mama probably never told him about the birds and the bees.

His "friends" called a reporter from the Clinton News Network (CNN) to document this spectacular event. I mean, they could report the daily "how to make a sandwich" adventures of that bitch in Bill Clinton's kitchen, but who would be interested in that, other than the vegan feminists who are her support group? The people have elected a pussy thief. Porn.

A reporter is interviewing a "happy" couple. Maybe this boy is just excited that his cherry is about to pop, but I think it's his McDonald's addiction. Seriously, this son of a bitch could be the poster child for Big Mac's latest commercial. Jasmine is too busy with her chewing gum to pay attention to this nonsense. She's probably already thinking about how much crack she can buy with the $20 she just earned. Anyway, they get naked on stage and Andrew gets peed on for the first time in his life. I feel like I'm watching a freak show and am distracted by his boobs, which almost look bigger than Jasmine's silicone hooters.

I don't want to ruin the best moment of my life with premature ejaculation. Jasmine plunges her pussy onto his penis and rides the fucker until he fires his load into her tits. The crowd goes wild, people start crying, and applause runs throughout the strip club. Trump has won the presidency from feminist cult leader "Hillary Clinton" and America is free again. Anyway, if, like me, you are only satisfied with the best, stay away from this "garbage" for now. Don't say I didn't warn you. The content on these websites may be fappable, but you may be bombarded with excessive (malware) ads and video players streaming sex movies slower than your grandma's 56K internet in the 90's with a stuttering slideshow every 5 seconds. Do you like to fap? Do you like to close the pop-up window every time you refresh the page? Want to see a website that doesn't function properly, that looks uglier than Kim Kardashian's skimpy skin? Go fuck yourself.

WHat other porn listings are listed here?

Oh, I see you've noticed the cheap imitations that have tried to copy my success. Well, you know the "Dutch" proverb, "Tall trees catch a lot of wind". I'm flattered, but it's like a cockroach appearing every time. That's how much these pesky insects love (my) shit, and it's also the only thing they create. It is amazing to see how lacking in creativity and originality they are and how good they are at Chinese copy and paste technology.