ThePornLogs.com - best collection of free and premium porn sites 2023.

Only the best porn sites are listed on the top page, but there are some sites that deserve a mention but have yet to earn a red carpet spot, and I'm not sure I'll ever be the great porn king.

Congratulations, you fucking betas. You are on the right track to making an epic porn site. Don't waste your time trying to bribe me with dick pics or welfare checks or thinking that money will make me change my mind. I may be as powerful as Trump in the adult industry, but don't make me look like a money-grubbing Melania. If you are a female webmaster, feel free to contact me and see if my cup D sized tits and wet pussy will make me weak.

Damn, I liken this to a cuckold scene where the black master eats his master's creamer after he has finished fucking his wife's anus bareback. He is the kind of loser who knows he doesn't want to, but will gladly beg and lick the leftovers because he can't get any better than this anyway. What does a true alpha's sloppy seconds taste like, bitch? You want some more, you no-goods.

Is this porn site still worth checking out? I don't want to waste my time, I just want to watch good porn.

Most of you sociopaths will fuck anything with a hole in it and have already downloaded all the porn hubs to your hard drives. You have nothing else to do and you're probably wondering what's on the internet. It might be nice to get out of the house once in a while, but can you imagine the horror of encountering a woman in the flesh? Oh, no. Better to stay in the basement protected by Mom. I don't want to lose my virginity to those beastly feminists.

Let's look at what happened to poor 24-year-old Andrew when he celebrated his birthday at a strip club in Arkansas. His friends set up a "go-fund-me" page for this shy guy to lose his virginity and barely made the $20 needed to hire a local black crack whore, aka porn star "Jasmine". Whether he didn't have the money to buy a condom or if the horny Andrew was stupid, the mullet boy was forced to go full bareback. We can't blame this obese boy. Because this was probably his first encounter with the opposite sex, and his mother probably didn't tell him about the birds and the bees.

His "friends" called a reporter from the Clinton News Network (CNN) to document this spectacular event. I mean, we could have daily coverage of the "how to make a sandwich" adventures of the bitch in Bill Clinton's kitchen, but who would be interested in that, other than her support group of vegan feminists? The people have elected a pussy thief. Porn.

A reporter interviews a "happy" couple. This boy may be excited to pop his cherry, but I think he is a McDonald's addict. Seriously, this son of a bitch could be the poster child for Big Mac's latest commercial. Jasmine is too busy with her chewing gum to pay attention to this crap. She is probably already thinking about how much crack she can buy with the $20 she just earned. Anyway, they get naked on stage and Andrew gets peed on for the first time in his life. I feel like I'm watching a freak show and am distracted by his boobs, which look bigger than Jasmine's silicone hooters.

I don't want to ruin the best moment of my life with premature ejaculation. Jasmine rams her pussy into his dick and rides the fucker until he shoots his load into her tits. The crowd goes wild, people start crying, and applause echoes throughout the strip club. Trump wins the presidency from feminist cult leader "Hillary Clinton" and America is free again. Anyway, if, like me, you are only satisfied with the best, stay away from this "garbage" now. Don't say I didn't warn you. The content on these websites may be fappable, but you may be bombarded with excessive (malware) ads and video players that stream sex movies in slideshows that stutter every 5 seconds, slower than your grandma's 56K internet in the 90s! You might be attacked by a video player that streams sex movies in a stuttering slideshow every five seconds, slower than your 90s grandma's 56K Internet. Do you like fapping? Do you like closing the pop-up window every time you refresh the page? Do you want to see a website that doesn't work properly and is uglier than Kim Kardashian's skin? Fuck you.

What other porn listings do you have?

Oh, you've noticed the cheap imitations that try to copy my success. There is a Dutch proverb that says, "A tall tree gets a lot of wind." I'm flattered, but it's like having a cockroach show up every time. That's how much these pesky insects love (my) shit and also produce nothing but it. Their lack of creativity and originality and their mastery of Chinese copy-and-paste techniques never ceases to amaze me.