Cartoon Porn Vids! Millennials are the first generation to actually fall in love with cartoon porn. Now that animation can be done on computers creating a porn cartoon takes a third of the time. The barrier to entry is the ability to download a program. You don’t even need to pay for it; you can just as easily torrent that shit. That means the world has been flooded by cartoon porn over the last ten years.

Why men love animated porn so much has been a topic of hot debate amongst psychologists for some time. You wouldn’t intuitively expect it to garner such a strong reaction, but here we are. Cum is now being sprayed by the gallon while men watch hentai or porn versions of their favorite childhood cartoons. There isn’t one of us that didn’t want to fuck Velma or that bitch Pepe Le Pew is constantly chasing down.

”Research”

Let’s get fucking real. Nikolaas Tinbergen has an interesting theory about why men love animated porn, and he called it a supernormal stimulus. You don’t love toons because you’re some twisted, perverted freak. You love toons because of evolution. That said, you are still a sick, twisted, perverted freak.

The proportions on sexy cartoon characters are ridiculous if you haven’t noticed. If a real woman had those proportions, her spinal cord would crumble under the weight of her own tits and ass. No real woman could ever hope to compete with those thicc Pixar bitches. As men, we evolved to see big tits and ass as a sign that a woman is fertile and ready to fuck. The bigger the tits and ass, the better.

Now, let’s cut to baby birds. Baby birds often have brightly colored and uniquely shaped patches on the back of their throats. When they hold their mouths open, the patches act as targets for the parents to drop in food. Well, there’s a particular parasite that likes to attach itself to baby bird throats and steals food. They do this by replacing the natural throat patch with a larger and brighter one. Although the larger and brighter patch looks unnatural, it takes advantage of supernormal stimuli, and the parents are more likely to feed the infected birds than the healthy ones.

This is the same concept that leads men to love the exaggerated features of a cartoon vixen. It may be unnatural, but it is hot wiring the sexual proclivities of our brains and hyper-stimulating them. See there. It’s not your fault you want to fuck the Mom from The Incredibles - it’s gods fault.

I have an additional theory to add to supernormal stimuli. Control is a huge part of sex. Many of my readers will be all too familiar with the subject. And because you’re pussies, you guys have absolutely no control over women, and women hold all the control over you. You’re so pussy starved that if a deformed legless ugly bitch asked you to jump, you would say, “how high?” Unless you win the lotto, that’s unlikely to change, so to retake control of your sexuality, you become attracted to something that must bend under your whims, cartoons. Animation is inanimate and, therefore, your slave. You don’t have to worry about pleasing it or judgment. A cartoon never calls out your tiny dick or the fact you came in two pumps.

Cartoons can also perform sexual acts that are impossible in the real world. A bitch can’t leap off the dresser and triple axel onto your cock. A bitch can’t bend her legs completely back, turning her body into a living fleshlight. A bitch can’t have vaginal intercourse with you. All these things and more become possible when a bitch is a Two-dimensional facsimile of a woman. The universe is your playground.

When you tire of what’s possible and want to see the impossible, it’s time to visit Cartoonpornvids. Cartoonpornvids is one of the largest repositories of perverted cartoon sex anywhere around. The selection is massive. You will have trouble picking which you want to jerk off to first. You’ll have to do like I do and open up thirty tabs before you even get your pants off.

Animated porn sites often have innovative or creative web design, and Cartoonpornvids is no different. They don’t get crazy, but the place is more engaging than your average porn site. Along the top is a small menu with the options Drop down main menu, Home, Search bar, Create, My account, Log in, Sign up, and Explore more. When opening up the main menu, the options displayed are Home, Latest videos, Trending, Top videos, Popular channels, Explore more, and Help. That menu is replicated using symbols along the left side.

Much of the content on Cartoonpornvids is short clips between ten seconds and one minute. All the video content here is on autoloop for that reason. You wouldn’t want to have to hit the rewind button while you’re mid-stroke.

Dicking Down the Hydrangeas

On that note, let’s dive into some of the great content on Cartoonpornvids. When Uma Thurmon stepped on-screen as Poison Ivy, cocks worldwide got hard as a rock. From that point on, men everywhere wanted to fuck their houseplants. The title of this clip says it all: “Poison Ivy Getting Fucked from Behind.” You will notice that not much creativity is used in naming these videos. It’s about forty seconds long and ends in an assumed cream pie. By that, I mean you don’t see it, but it’s suggested by stroke variation.

That clip was created by a user named Popeye. You will see his name throughout the site because he’s one of the most prominent animators. Using the same clips and replacing the skins, he can pump out a shit ton of content. For example, check out “Wraith Laying Down Getting Fucked” and “Wattson Laying Down and Getting Fucked.”

Usually, pizza delivery porn involves a lengthy setup in which the Pizza Slut delivery guy slips his cock in the box and asks a ho if she ordered sausage. But “Pizza Delivery Sivir Riding Cock” is only a four-second clip, so it skips all the formalities and gets right to the fucking. It may only be four seconds, but it is perfectly looped, as with all the short clips. You could sit and watch it for hours.

I don’t always think of Santa when I’m jerking off, but when I do, it’s because I’m watching “Santa Punishing D.Va - Minusviertel.” I feel like Santa having a monstrous cock was never covered in the original canon, but it makes sense. It turns out Santas dick is so massive that you can see it through a bitches stomach every time he thrusts inward. Likewise, Mrs. Claus’ pussy must be fucking decimated.

Poison Ivy isn’t the only Batman villain getting dicked-down on Cartoonpornvids. Catwoman gets it also, and this time from the Dark Knight himself. Both Catwoman and Batman are still fully decked out in their gear, with the only difference being holes ripped out to expose genitals. This makes sense. If the bat signal goes up while Batman is sack deep, he won’t have time to put his clothes back on. He needs to be able to launch at a moment’s notice. Not just launch toward trouble but also launch a load inside Catwoman’s pussy.

“Nami Riding Dick” is an example of the dark, twisted side of animated porn. By that, I mean it’s fucking censored. What the fuck? It’s not even fucking real! This shit pisses me off so much. Censoring real porn is bad enough. How dare someone censor cartoons also? I hope everyone involved with censored porn gets hit by a bus - not the animators but the lawmakers.

Keeping on the topic of whoever the hell Nami is, “Nami Big Tits Titjob” is an example of what makes cartoon porn so wonderful. You can never get a titjob like this one in real life. Cartoon tits are just too pillowy and massive for natural tits to compete. It looks like animated tit jobs feel like real pussy.

Cartoonpornvids will weasel their way into your dick’s heart with their massive selection of smut. The clips are so short you will want to open up thirty of them, so it feels like your having a porn orgy, also known as a porgy. The site has an engaging design that will keep you coming back.

I still see areas in which Cartoonpornvids can make its service even better. These clips take a lot of time to create, but I would love to see some longer options. That doesn’t necessarily mean someone has to make a ten-minute-long cartoon, though. Clip compilations would be awesome.

This shit is like a study of cartoon porn. Now that you know it’s not your fault you love this shit so much, why don’t you indulge your deepest sexual urges.