France is known for many things: The Eiffel Tower, Napoleon Bonaparte, the Louvre, and beautiful women who don't shave their legs or armpits. That doesn't mean that the 18+ chicks on today's site are hairy. In fact, all the sluts I saw on JacquieEtMichelTV.net were so perfectly smooth that I would have licked them. Since it's a French site, I'll spend some wine on them afterwards. But since I'm American, I'll drink a cubitainer instead of a glass.

Jacquie et Michel is a network that is the leader in French porn, they started in 2004. They have 50 employees working full time on their sites, VOD services, stores, magazines, events and many other things. They seem to do a lot of things, but I'm only interested in one thing: pornography.

Premium porn with exclusive content and some ads

JacquieEtMichelTV.net gets about 200 000 visitors per day. That's all I knew about the site before I got to the homepage. The porn looks nice. They add at least one video a day, which is not bad for a paid site. I'm usually satisfied with one anal performance or blowjob scene a day. Today and yesterday we had threesome scenes with double penetrations, and the day before the sluts took a huge dildo in her wet pussy.

It was really quite a week. While you were stinking up your room with cum, these sluts were jerking off with their feet, seducing young guys, trying their hand at interracial anal, and fucking in southeast France.

I was surprised when I saw the banner ad at the top of the screen telling me that there are plenty of sluts in my area to fuck quickly. This is bullshit. The ad is in French and I'm far from France. I can't even get the site without going through my built-in translator. The only French words I know are "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

Nevertheless, unlike most porn sites on the internet, there are very few intrusive ads. There are a few that promote the Jacquie et Michel dating sites but that's about it. It's very nice to launch the trailer or the video without an ad in the video player.

Jerking off on the previews

Jacquie et Michel is fully committed to protecting minors from pornographic images. The My18pass system is designed for this purpose. By default, when you arrive on the site for the first time, only images and previews of soft videos are presented. No genitals are shown.

However, if you purchase a video or sign up for a subscription, the My18pass block is automatically lifted. You will then see unlimited porn.

And if you don't want to take out your credit card, you can prove to the system that you are over 18. You will then see photos and previews of porn videos. This will make you want to buy the full videos even more. So I experimented with creating my My18pass account to access the free porn content.

The accountant showing her pussy in the thumbnail of the latest movie looks like a real slut, and her perfect body gave me half a hard-on before clicking on the preview. The video is surrounded by ads for JacquieEtMichelTV webcams and dating sites. I feel a little abused, so I hope this happens to the slut in the movie.

Since I don't speak the language, I don't know what these chicks say in the intro. If I know anything about French chicks, it's that they talk about fags, cheese and wine, and how good it all is with double penetration. After a minute or so, the younger one lifts her top and the MILF takes care of her little nipples. As I would have done, she then took care of her pussy.

The conversation ends and the action begins. The blonde sits down between two guys on a couch and starts licking one guy's dick. Apparently that wasn't enough because she started to work on the other guy's shaft. She then tried to lick both at once. It's obvious that despite the fact that she's just starting out, she seems to have practiced a bit.

The montage stops too soon on footage of the girl getting her pussy and puck raked at the same time. She squeals, she moans and moves her pelvis, eager to cum again while screaming and squirming.

It gets hotter and hotter, and the preview stops abruptly a few minutes after it starts. Instead, there's a subscription screen telling me to take advantage of exclusive offers. That's pretty much how I ended up regular at my coke dealer.

Buy all or only a part of it

A month of unlimited streaming with doggy style sex and fisting at JacquieEtMichelTV is 29,90 euros. That's a bit more than most porn sites because the others charge the same, but in dollars. Take it up with Jacquie, Michel or Donald Trump, but don't shoot the messenger. Your old friend The Porn Dude would give it to you for free, but I'm not the boss.

If you really want to see the lesbian threesome and nothing else, you can buy individual videos. At 3 euros a handjob, it will be expensive if you masturbate eleven times a day. For the retards who skipped math class, you should know that it's better to subscribe if you want to jerk off on more than 10 movies per month.

They also have a one-day trial period for 3 euros, but it's just one of those options that will end up costing you more over time. Because once the day is over, you'll be charged the full amount for a month, so be sure to cancel if you want to try it. But, for 3 euros, you have access to the whole catalog in streaming for 24 hours. This will definitely make you want to continue with a monthly subscription because it's hard to see everything in 24 hours.

A menu of French perversion in video

The latest additions to the JacquieEtMichelTV collection seem to be heavily weighted towards lesbian anal content and double penetration. Seeing chicks together is fine with me, and I like to see all the well-stuffed holes, but I was curious to see what else the site might have in the way of deviant content.

The list of categories gives an answer. I like the way it's sorted by number of videos, so you get an idea of what's popular. Apparently, frog eaters really like to see fresh meat get badly fucked up. So do I! Apparently, everyone also likes anal.

They have hundreds of amateur pro porn movies available, as well as tons of good hardcore anal movies. There are about 100 casting films and almost as many facials. Specializing in gonzo, the full-length films are about 45 minutes long and adopt the same general scenario: you get to know the amateur girl or girls through personal and intimate questions. They start to caress each other, to undress in front of the camera. Then, generally male actors arrive when the hard scenes begin. At the beginning, in the middle and at the end of the scenes, we always hear the same sentence "Merci Jacquie et Michel” (Thank you Jacquie et Michel). It is the famous expression that everyone knows in France.

I found a few dozen exhibitionism movies with nice glimpses. This 23 years old beauty lifts her skirt and shows her ass near a bridge with some traffic. I wish the blowjobs and threesomes that take place right afterwards were also in public, but I'm tempted to subscribe or at least buy this video.

I'm impressed by the variety and quality of porn available on JacquieEtMichelTV (often misspelled as "jaky et michel"). I was able to find just about anything I wanted to jerk off to, and I don't even speak French. It's certainly much easier for a French person, and you'll understand the sexy dialogue during the scenes. The moaning and screaming is the same in all languages. Updates are daily, so it's worth checking out if you like your porn stars to speak French.