SwallowSalon! What’s the worst thing about being stuck inside thanks to coronavirus? It’s a fucking shame we can’t hit the bar or bang strangers off an app, and I’ve heard a lot of broads complaining about not being able to visit the hair salon. That’s why I think everybody is going to be pretty happy to find out SwallowSalon is still open.

You’ll still have to mangle your own hair with a pair of scissors and a mirror, but SwallowSalon.com can help take care of that clogged-up feeling you may be experiencing in your junk. In case you haven’t guessed from the name, this club warehouse of premium porn has something of an oral fixation. Since 2016, they’ve been helping anyone with some spare alone-time get off to hardcore blowjobs from some of the world’s most talented cocksuckers.

Hot Porn Newbies Eating Hard Dick

When I pulled up the front page, I thought Swallow Salon was older than it actually is. The simple layout has the feel of an early 2000s site, with no videos, moving GIFs, or loud, flashy text. They let photos of these hot pole-smokers do all the speaking with their pretty faces and mouths stuffed with ding-dongs.

The site might feel old, but they’re working with some great talent. If you’re a regular porn consumer, you’ll recognize a bunch of these girls and have probably jacked off to a few. The top of the tour page features two gorgeous, big-smiled portraits of Audrey Hempburne and Natalie Porkman, the stars of their newest features. The scene titles ain’t too subtle around here. This one’s called Swallow Salon Features Audrey Hempburne and Natalie Porkman Giving Head and Swallowing Cum. Jesus fucking Christ, somebody slap a spoiler warning on that!

Audrey and Natalie ain’t the only big-name porn sluts on the menu. They’ve done recent pictures with Avi Love, Kiara Cole, and Aidra Fox. I’m eager to get in and watch an Alex Coal POV beej with a really high user rating, and of course, I’ve got to watch anything with Eliza Ibarra. That chick is probably worse for the economy than COVID-19, destroying millions of hours of productive time with every new movie.

SwallowSalon.com has some free sample videos out front. It’s been a while since I toured Costco, gorging myself on free samples, so I kind of let myself loose here. They’re just one-minute montages, but they don’t cut you off after a few like other sites. A determined wanker can certainly bust a nut or two. The video player is really basic, but you can download the trailers if you want to watch in slow-motion in another app.

The scenes are lit in pastel hues with a soft-focus, in rooms straight out of a hotel scene in a sci-fi movie. Combined with the light ambient music and the world-class dick-vacuuming going on, it gives off the feel of a very luxurious wet dream. Swallow Salon clearly has a distinctive video style of their very own.

Cheaper and Better Than a Crackwhore BJ

I’m a little surprised by the SwallowSalon membership prices. I was expecting the industry-standard thirty bones a month, but they’re asking $32. It’s not that much more, but it’s rare for a site to ask for any premium unless they have something pretty goddamn special to offer. The longer subscriptions do break down to lower rates, but the discounts aren’t as great as they are elsewhere.

They’ve got the currently obligatory pandemic message in the front of the member’s area. One of the things I like about SwallowSalon’s response is that they’re not restricting updates like I’ve seen a lot of the bigger sites are doing. One of their bullet points is that they’re continuing to add new head-giving movies every week.

They’ve been releasing on the same schedule for a while, and I hope to see them continue to do so indefinitely. That rapid release rate adds up over time. To date, there are around 250 movies on SwallowSalon.com, and quite possibly many more by the time you read this.

Talented Girls Showing Off Their Skills

I’ve had a semi ever since I saw those shots of Audrey Hempburne and Natalie Porkman on Swallow Salon’s tour page. Both of these cuties showed up on the scene last year as ripe and eager 18-year-olds, and I’m happy to see them enjoying their growing porn-stardom. I think we’re going to see a lot more of both of them over the coming years, and SwallowSalon.com will be counted as one of the lucky sites to catch them as true porn teens.

After a piracy warning about the video being “DNA Watermarked”, the movie launches into an interview with the lovely Audrey. She’s giggly and cute as she talks about how excited she is to show off her head-giving skills. They don’t waste too much time with the talky-talky, getting right down to the sucky-sucky by the 1:40 mark. Audrey makes absolutely beautiful green eye contact with the camera as she slurps away.

The movie plays smoothly in the maxed-out resolution of 1080p, but I’m not sure how much the HD matters at Swallow Salon. The site shoots in a very stylized video format that makes use of a soft focus. It gives the cocksucking a dreamy sex-fantasy vibe, but it does wash some of the detail out of the picture. It’s not a bad effect, nor is it anything like watching a Tetris-resolution blowjob on one of the free tubes. That said, I’m sure there are masturbators who prefer the crisp, hard edges of other high-def pornos.

The actual oral sex is fantastic, as it damn well better be on a premium BJ site. Audrey is the kind of girl who thrives and rises to the top on a site like SwallowSalon. They make good use of her skills, putting her to work on a shaft that she takes deep into her mouth and into the back of her throat. She’s got the precision of a goddamn surgeon when she uses her spit to lubricate that bad boy for her hands, and twirls her tongue around the tip like it’s the tastiest thing in the world and she wants to savor it.

Blowjobs For Now, Blowjobs For Later

Audrey’s still got an angelic smile on her face and a wiener in her mouth as her segment fades out. We then meet the second half of this SwallowSalon.com double feature, Natalie Porkman. Again, they dispense with the interview quickly so they can get right down to serious business.

Most of the material I watched is filmed in POV shots and close angles. It’s gonzo filmmaking, with the head recipient doing all the camerawork. It’s relatively simple, but done by a practiced and accomplished hand. Compare it to any truly amateur material shot on a phone, and you’ll see a massive difference. The action here is never obscured by bad angles, and there’s enough variation to keep things interesting. Swallow Salon catches some great eye-contact shots, though some of that is the expert lighting bringing out the natural beauty of these hungry starlets.

Downloads are included with the standard membership price. Help yourself to a range of files from 480p up to 1080p, as well as super low-res “mobile” version for anybody still using a phone from 1999. There are also a few pages of images available for every movie if you’re an old-school wanker.

I always recommend people check out the free samples first if paysites make them available, but I think it’s even more important at Swallow Salon. Blowjobs are the main thing on the menu here, but the movies do have a particular style that sets them apart from other deepthroat pictures. The atmospheric lighting and camerawork really give the flicks a vibe straight out of wet dream or daytime fap fantasy. Some folks ain’t going to like it, but I have a feeling even more will.

It seems like modern pornos often follow a script that begins with an interview, followed by a brief blowjob, and then the “real” sex. SwallowSalon.com’s porno caters to masturbators who wish more movies would linger on those oral segments. After a quick interview, each of these flicks focuses on the cock-sucking, ball-fondling, deepthroating and oral creampies you love so much. If the head’s your favorite part, why not skip to the good stuff? Check this one out.